Sunday, March 16, 2008

Brother, If Lying Fails, Try Prayer. Or At Least Try Lying About Prayer.

There's a Civil-War era anecdote about two Confederate matrons discussing the prospects for success of the rebel cause.

Says the first lady, “I believe our side will prevail because Jeff is a praying man.”

To which the second matron replies, “But they say Abe is a praying man, too.”

To which the first responds, “That may be. But the Lord will believe Jeff.”

Thus marks the last time these pages ever suggest a comparison between legendary wiliness of the Emancipator and the, so far, bottomless narcissism of Detroit’s Kingpin mayor.

I’m reminded of the story because of a report in todays’ Detroit Free Press (“Mayor, backers pray as decision on charges looms”) of a City Hall “prayer session” staged, er, excuse me, convened Saturday with Kwame and 25 of his most spiritually atuned supporters, including spiritual giants Malik Shabbaz, race-hustler Rev. Horace Sheffield, III, and various unnamed union and business leaders. Notably not mentioned as attending was Kilpatrick’s own pastor, Rev. J. Drew Sheard.

Shabbaz, (who, if it weren’t for the Colonel Klink outfits he wears would undoubtedly be mistaken for St. Francis of Assisi), denied the prayer meeting had anything to do with Prosecutor Kym Worthy’s announcement yesterday that she had finally made up her mind about whether or not to charge Kilpatrick with perjury for the whoppers he swore to under oath in court.

“We went to pray,” Shabazz said. “Our mayor is a praying mayor. He believes in the power of prayer, and so do we.”

Okay, I'll buy that. For one, I don’t think Worthy had made her announcement before the prayer meeting was called. Second, since Worthy’s decision was already made, prayer would be too late. And third, if Worthy does announce a decision to charge Kilpatrick, or otherwise fails to let him completely off the hook, it will be Kym who needs prayers, not Kwame.

Then let's just leave aside the minor issue of how a municipal property from which all Nativity scenes have been forever banned can be used for a taxpayer-funded prayer meeting without public comment. I’m more interested in the image of Kwame on his knees for two hours petitioning the Lord--but for what?

Maybe he’s praying for a bolt of lightning to smite his persecutors. But a single bolt won’t do it, as the people who are calling for him to resign grows by the hour. Maybe better request a Noah’s Ark-style deluge to wipe out the 90% of Detroiters who think he’s a big fat liar, and then the remnant can be on your jury. And while it's raining we’d better ask Jehovah to submerge Cox, Dave Bing, and definitely Scott Lewis and Mildred Gaddis, and those certain someones on the City Council.

Or maybe Kwame was just “humbly, humbly,” asking the Lord to give him what he needs to keep on moving forward on behalf of the city he loves “with every part of his being.” You know, things like fortitude, courage, wisdom to do the right thing.

And beyond all that sissy stuff, what this particular hip-hop mayor also needs to run a city includes a whole mess of city grease to spread around to his patrons, his cronies, and his high-school posse, not to mention lots of clandestine nookie, procured with the assistance of dirty cops standing guard over tax-funded love nests, and a whole lot of darkness to cover it all up.

Which would be a big request, even if you're as devout as Kwame, and believe in the power of prayer. because at the moment, there happen to be about two dozen Joshuas who have commanded to sun to stand still for about the past 6 weeks, and there’s not a promise of a shadow in sight.

All of which means the Lord’s going to have to do a real miracle if Kwame’s ever going to get resume his necessary rejuvenating LOLing with the likes of Christine Beatty or the lady in mink without every news camera in the city peeping in the windows.

Anyway, it’s interesting to speculate about the Kwame prayer meeting. But there's one thing I’m pretty sure of. With guys like Shabbaz and Sheffield in your prayer corner, Kingpin won’t be praying for all those people he hurt, and continues to hurt--not for the policemen whose careers he ruined, nor the ones he’s corrupted beyond repair, nor the loyal administration and political accomplices forced to go out and lie for him day after day, nor the strippers and the escorts and the Jamaican chippies it takes to fuel his massive ego, nor the citizens he lies to and disserves so badly.

The ones he loves with every part of his being.


Anonymous said...

I am Minister Malik Shabazz, Ilive in, love and support Detroit and the world.That picture is not me...I support Mayor Kilpatrick,so what? Dont I have the right to do that? I have closed down over 1,500 Crack Houses, what have you done? or 313-646-3375

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Minister Shabazz. The posting does not question and in fact says nothing about your rights. Based on the posting how about a few questions for you based on the
facts surrounding the mayoral scandal:

Why exactly did the city of Detroit have to pay two former police officers 8.4 mil?

Why did Kwame agree to settle so quickly after the transcripts of all of his text messages with Ms. Beatty were brought to light?

How many crack houses could have been torn down with that much money?

What has the mayor done to himself, his own image, and to the trust of the city of Detroit by virtue of his own actions?

Are you aware at all laws that were broken and the legal implications of the mayor's actions?

God can forgive any criminal who is penitent, but he still has to face the judge.

They say that pride cometh before a fall, and that phrase is articulated well in the person of Kwame Kilpatrick.

Not living in Detroit anymore and loving it!

T.R. Clancy said...

I had to think about this. The picture may not be you, but it IS a picture of Minister Malik Shabazz of the NBP.

You see, until today I never realized (nor is it common knowledge) that there are TWO Minister Malik Shabazzes, BOTH claiming to lead the New Black Panthers, BOTH claiming to be indebted to Khalid Muhammed, and BOTH committed to racial separatism, violence, and anti-semitism. And NEITHER, apparently, about to publicly admit the other man's existence. Can you blame us for being confused? This is a blog. We write commentary here; we don't pretend to sort out Shabazzes.

If you aren't the Malik ("Our Attorney at War") Shabazz in the bandsuit, I apologize. There's nary a sign of any other when I Google. (I probably also blogged you in error at

Of course you have a legal right to support the mayor. What you don't have is the moral right to use the objects of religion to bolster the mayor's public declamations of his own harmlessness and innocence, as he speaks falsely as to both. By doing so, you take on his deceitfulness and malice as your own.

Sorry again about any photo error.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps, the ministers are adherents of Black liberation theology.

"Black theology refuses to accept a God who is not identified totally with the goals of the black community. If God is not for us and against white people, then he is a murderer, and we had better kill him. The task of black theology is to kill Gods who do not belong to the black community ... Black theology will accept only the love of God which participates in the destruction of the white enemy. What we need is the divine love as expressed in Black Power, which is the power of black people to destroy their oppressors here and now by any means at their disposal. Unless God is participating in this holy activity, we must reject his love."

from - William R Jones, "Divine Racism: The Unacknowledged Threshold Issue for Black Theology", in African-American Religious Thought: An Anthology, ed Cornel West and Eddie Glaube (Westminster John Knox Press).

as quoted in "The peculiar theology of black liberation"
By Spengler

Anonymous said...

Well, shit fire and save the matches. TR's right there are two Shabazz's. Maybe one for prayer and one for blowing his own horn.

Ain't nobody trying to take your rights away so stick that in your crack and I'll give you a match to light it.
is not YET considered a proper noun. Save your
Which of you is closest to God's candidate?

There are many houses that are considered proper nouns and require capital letters. The White House is a great example. The Crack House is really just a house and crack is used as an adjective to describe what type of house it is. So no capitals needed.

I want to assure you Mr. Shabzz that in mentioning this error I am in no way attempting to take away your right to improper grammar.

And in case you were wondering, even if you had closed down 5,000 crack houses, it would still not be considered a proper noun.

Ms. Puma Prey