Friday, January 23, 2009

Chirac's Sumo: 'Somebody Had to Do It'

Yes, readers. There is a Just God
Rick Moran

This really isn't something to make fun about - former French President Jacques Chirac getting seriously mauled by his clinically depressed French Poodle. But you know what? I don't care who thinks less of me for finding this not only uproariously funny, but also the fact that I take a certain grim satisfaction that this mutt has struck a blow for freedom against this intolerably smug, self righteous, America-hating Frenchman:

Former French President Jacques Chirac was rushed to a hospital after being mauled by his pet dog who is being treated for depression, in a dramatic incident that rattled the ex-president's wife.

The couple's white Maltese poodle, called Sumo, has a history of frenzied fits and became increasingly prone to making "vicious, unprovoked attacks" despite receiving treatment with anti-depressants, Chirac's wife Bernadette said.

"If you only knew! I had a dramatic day yesterday," she told VSD magazine. "Sumo bit my husband!"

Mrs. Chirac, 74, did not reveal where the former president was bitten, but said, "the dog went for him for no apparent reason."

"No apparent reason?" Is she kidding? I can think of 10,000 reasons why wiping the smirk off that lickspittle's face is a good deed for which little Sumo will find a special place reserved for him in doggie heaven - the same place that dogs who save the lives of little kids in fires and who find skiers buried after avalanches will be.

But if we must list a few reasons why Sumo finally had a enough of this bloated braggart of a man, let's start with his two faced attitude toward the United States, his belittling George Bush, his constant efforts to undermine American policy at the UN and everywhere else, and his arrogant dismissiveness of the Anglo-American partnership.
Ethel Fenig adds:

Ah, viva la poodle Francaise. And this being France, the poodle just might be treated courtesy of the French socialized medical system. Or maybe that's what made it so clinically depressed initially.

I wonder where Sumo applied his version of rough justice?


Anonymous said...

Sumo is a female dog. She was just getting him back for messing around with those other 999 bitches.

Anonymous said...

You suck. Enjoy the Obama years!