Test Drive the New 2009 Barney!

One way or the other the Democrats in Congress are determined to put someone named Barney in charge of the Big Three. What with the Donkey Party’s unswerving sense of priority (e.g., automobiles are the root of all evil, the Planet is on fire), and the historical weakness of Democrats, when they're in a majority, for refusing to consider opposing views, the most Detroit can hope for is a compromise on exactly which Barney gets selected.

With that in mind, we thought we’d ask our readers which, of the three most prominent Barneys on the national scene today, is likely to do the least amount of damage to the auto industry?


Our early research indicated that a fourth prominent Barney was the hands-down favorite for being able to do a better job than either the Congressional Democrats or the current Big Three CEOs.

I’m referring of course to Barney Fife, who, unlike any of the auto companies’ current and recent executives, once enjoyed a reputation for not letting much get by him.

But we haven’t included him in this survey for technical reasons, including that a) the real Don Knotts only played someone named Barney Fife on TV, and b) he's dead.

Too bad. That leaves Detroit one Barney short of a savior, and the future of the automakers very likely in the hands of someone like this: