Clarification: Or, The Truth About Danny Wrilski

The other night I posted a spoof, satire, joke, at the expense of Barack Obama and Cub Scout Danny Wrilski, of Evanston, IL. ("Obama’s Brave Stand on Pin Raises Questions of Patriotism, Plagiarism").

Based on some feedback, some of it much more sober than what I was expecting, I can sense there's a need to post this clarification.

The thing is, there are Cub Scouts, there is an Evanston, IL, there is a Barack Obama, and there may or may not be some precocious 8-year-old science whiz by the name of Danny Wrilski, but if so, it is, like they say in Hollywood, purely coincidental.

You see, I made Danny up.

I apologize for any inconvenience, and only hope that no one will be too embarassed having to go back through your speed-dial list taking back all those rumors you spread about Senator Obama being a plagiarist based on no better authority than something I may have said. We take pride at Dearborn Underground in posting careful and accurate information. Except when we're being funny.

Frankly, I am a bit worried now about getting a lawsuit from Obama. I am even more concerned about getting sued by some kid from Evanston named Danny Wrilski.

I felt the need to take a jab at Obama for his lapel-pin remarks, but since the guy had been thoroughly ridiculed within about 90 minutes of saying what he said, I thought I would try a different approach. There are times when my mind makes leaps that, frankly, we'd all be better off if I could just learn to ignore.

In my own defense, I really wasn't trying to fool anybody, except to the extent required to tell a joke.

It never entered my mind for even a moment that anyone would actually believe that

a) Barack Obama, who has been declared articulate by no less an authority than Joe Biden, (and is deservedly called articulate) would be unable to provide his own lame explanation for why he stopped wearing a flag pin without having to steal words from somebody else, or

b) that the Boy Scouts of America would initiate a recall of 1.6 million merit badges based upon the result of a science experiment conducted by an 8-year-old in his basement, or

c) that a perfectly normal 8-year-old in Evanston named Danny Wrilski would actually speak to his pack leader in the kind of stilted and uninspired prose we get from presidential candidates.

So I'm very sorry. I have no reason to believe that Obama is a plagiarist. Please don't hold it against our blog, or Darby Shaw, who played no part in the cruel deception. I won't say we won't try it again, but I'll try to be less subtle.

And now I have to go, as I've kept Dan Rather's waiting on hold for me for the past 20 minutes.