Sunday, June 08, 2008

The Secret of Geoff (Not Your Normal Ordinary Citizen) Fieger

There are beings walking among us. Enlightened beings. Beings recognizable to the “spiritually advanced” as “Lightworkers.” (But don’t confuse Lightworkers with those guys in the Edison bucket trucks: those crews demand to be called by their official title: members of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers).

Anyway, back to Lightworkers. According to one fairly advanced spiritual guy, “These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.” (!) They also possess “a sort of powerful luminosity, a unique high-vibration integrity.” (“Is Obama an enlightened being?”).

JFK was one. And MLK. Probably anyone the Left has chosen to lionize. (And yes, as if you have to ask, OF COURSE all Lightworkers are liberals. What else?)

Anyway, the existence of these extraordinary beings explains a lot. Like, for instance, the acquittal last week of Geoffrey Fieger on federal charges of campaign-law violations and obstruction of justice. (“Don't bet on Fieger fallout”)

I mean, I’m doggoned if the phrases “unique high-vibration integrity” and “philosopher and peacemaker of a very high order” don't just suit Geoff down to a T.

Even as legal experts are saying his acquittal doesn’t change the facts of how Fieger was caught dead-to-rights committing felonies, they’re also warning the rest of us that mere mortals better not try anything like it.

"If anybody came to me and told me they were going to use straw donors because, 'Well, Fieger did it and he didn't go to prison,' I would say, 'You're not Geoffrey Fieger,' " said Larry Noble, a Washington lawyer and former general counsel to the Federal Election Commission.

You sure ain’t, brother. Who do you think you are? A Lightworker?

Naturally, Fieger’s as humble about his high-vibration integrity and evolution work as he is about everything else. But he let something slip out the other day when he was too bashful to disclose just how much his high-powered defense was costing him:

Fieger, who did not return a call seeking comment, declined after his acquittal to disclose the overall cost of his defense, saying only that it was “far more than any normal, ordinary citizen could ever afford.”

Hear that? Hear how he's not a normal, ordinary citizen?

That's what I mean.

This explains everything, doesn’t it?

Feiger is Michigan's very own Lightworker.

Our own “larger and more fascinating evolutionary burp.”

Pinch me! I’ve actually seen this guy in person!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Makes me want to puke.